The Price of Disappearing
by a simple poet
Summary: Friendship PruCan School!AU, Matthew's POV: Sometimes one needs to make sacrifices to feel complete.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Friendship PruCan one-shot that I may or may not add more to, because I only have so much time. Enjoy~**

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I was already having a bad morning before I arrived at my school. I forgot my homework folder and I missed the bus! I was disheveled when my mom dropped me off, so I wasn't looking where I was going. I tripped on the icy curb and fell, and I made it to class in time somehow, even though I was limping. I was finally mostly ready to learn. I loved school, unlike my brother, but my mind tended to wander a lot. I thought about the hockey game I had caught a part of on the TV the other, and how awesome the Canadian team was. No one in my family knew I even liked hockey, they tended to ignore everything about me. I had friends at school (granted not many, but they were nice), and my teachers liked me too.

By the time I had snapped out of my head, our substitute teacher Mr. Bondevik was already putting up math problems on the board. I was able to finish most of them before the lunch bell rang; the two hours had gone by fast. That's when I remembered my terrible morning. My polar bear lunch box felt heavy in my hands as I scanned the cafeteria for my friends. I was scared, I saw none of them! But, as I frantically searched, I noticed a kid I hadn't seen before sitting alone. Hesitantly, I walked towards his table by the window, where he was picking at the school's lunch food carelessly plopped on a foam tray. I stood awkwardly by the table and gathered the courage to introduce myself.

"H-Hi, m-my name is Matthew, b-but you can call me Matt." _What a smooth start._

The kid grinned at me anyway, so I decided that he probably wasn't mean. I finally sat down and focused on eating my lunch for a few minutes.

"Sooo… Do you like this school?" he said, breaking the silence. I wasn't expecting a conversation, so I was caught by surprise. If I was being honest, I didn't particularly like the school itself, but I tried to make it sound okay.

"Dude, don't lie. I know school is a drag. How 'bout we get through this year together? Oh! I almost forgot, my name is Gilbert,"

"Well, nice to meet you Gilbert. I hope we can be good friends." I managed to say without stuttering and with a smile.

Gilbert and I talked until lunch ended, and even though we had different personalities, we got along very well. After a few weeks, we got closer. There were a few times when Gilbert would be made fun of for being albino or would be ignored, and I found it annoying and upsetting. I saw how much it was upsetting him, and I felt helpless. I didn't notice that he began to fade away until a few days later, when we were sitting together. He was leaning against the window and it looked like he was translucent. This had disturbed me, and I hoped that my mind was playing tricks on me. When we were walking down the hall, he looked the same way. I was internally panicking and the negative and cruel part of me wanted me to ask my other friends that I hadn't been talking to, to take me back. I knew I would cave in, so that part of me took control and decided to go to them during the next lunch. The only problem was that he noticed my changed attitude.

The next day I did my best to ignore Gilbert, and instead of staying at our table, I went to my old table. They were confused as to why I was there.

"Who are you?" Fear and embarrassment creeped into my chest and I felt my face heat up. Before I left, I needed to at least try something.

"I'm Matt, don't you remember me?"

"No, never seen you before." answered this kid Ivan. I turned away. _It's all his fault, you know. If he had never answered you, then you wouldn't be in this situation._ I felt nauseous and I wiped traitorous tears that were threatening to spill. That was when I blanked out and had no control over my actions. My legs marched over to Gilbert who was waiting for me with a concerned expression on his face.

"Hey Matt, what's the matter?" he questioned seriously. I mumbled uncertainly.

"I don't think we should be friends anymore,"

"What was that?" I felt ready to tear myself apart or explode when he didn't hear me.

"Maybe we should never have become friends in the first place, because now everyone else has forgotten about me!"

I knew that I would regret my actions soon after, but at the moment I had just wanted to leave him and fume by myself. I hadn't noticed the tears streaming down my face until I reached the bathroom and saw my face. I felt light headed, and I clutched the sink tightly. The emotion was taking over my brain again, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I doubled over and I spat blood into the sink. I was becoming just like Gilbert; I could see through my hands and my legs were giving out. I think that at that moment, I realized that I was destined to be friends with him. That disappearing was a part of me that hadn't spread until Gilbert had torn the barrier down. I knew I wouldn't be able to patch things up right away, so I had to wait.

I stopped coughing, and I saw no blood, like it had never been there in the first place. I felt better than I had a few minutes ago, and more relaxed. I was internally silenced.

The mornings after that day became easier, and I was gathering up the courage to speak to Gilbert. One day, it felt like the right time. I watched Gilbert from several feet behind him. He whirled around.

"WHAT… do you want?" He looked conflicted. I shuffled my feet awkwardly.

"I-I-I was hoping I could walk with you to school?" He gestured for me to walk with him, and I finally felt whole again.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So, my best friend wrote Gilbert's POV, so I'm just going to put it here. Please enjoy!**

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As I look out the frosty window of my grandfather's apartment, I see a whole new world of opportunities. You see, I moved all the way from Europe to the States where my grandfather lives, and right now I am awaiting my first day of school. As I am driven to school by my grandfather, I see a boy looking rather flustered. He trips and falls on the curb, and I suddenly feel bad for the kid. I arrive soon at a long, flat building, that is now my school. I am going to be a fourth grader, and that meant I was one of the big kids at school. I boldly walk into the school, with my white hair swishing on my head. I snake past all the lost, and obviously confused third graders, to my new teachers room. I see the name of my new teacher's name printed on the name-slot outside the room. I march into the room in the middle of what seems like a math lesson, and the teacher abruptly stops to look at me.

"Well, there you are! Welcome, welcome. Class! This is our new student from Germany!" The teacher says with a sickly-sweet voice. "Well, I'm Miss Hedervary, and I'll be your teacher this year!" With that she sits me in one of the desks near the front, and gives me books I will need for separate academics. It's in the middle of winter, so all the other children have caught on pretty well to the routine of this class. So, that leaves me in the dust. I suddenly feel all eyes piercing my skull as I take out my math book. Am I really that foreign to all these kids? Is that a good or bad thing? Whatever it is, my head sure does hurt already. This wasn't supposed to happen like this. I was supposed to make new friends instantly, and have a different life from before.

I am herded off to lunch by a huge group of my new peers. I am suddenly shy (I don't even know why because I'm the loud one in my family), and decide to sit at a table in the corner, alone. I am met with my own mind, the only thing to preoccupy myself. Suddenly, I am shaken out of my thoughts by a small voice that wasn't in my head. I peer up, and instantly recognize that kid. 'He was the one that fell on the curb', I thought to myself. I couldn't help but allow my lips to tug up into a smile as I looked at the clumsy 'kid'. The shy boy starts to stutter out a sentence that is barely audible,"H-hi m-my name is Matthew, b-but you can call me Matt." He slowly sits at the table I am at, and I don't really mind. We start to eat our lunch without saying a word, and then I decide to break the boring silence. "Sooo…do you like this school?" I can see Matt stiffen from being asked a question as if he hadn't before this. "Uhhh… well, I mean, It's a pretty good school and all… But…" I know what he's getting at, " Dude, don't lie, I know school is a drag. How 'bout we get through this year together? Oh! I almost forgot, my name is Gilbert." I finish on an obnoxious note. " Well, nice to meet you Gilbert, I hope we can be good friends." he says with a smile. We start talking more, and it turns out we are very different, but we like a lot of the same things. ' _Matt is my new friend_ ', I think to myself. Out of seven hundred kids of this school, destiny chose me and Matt to cross paths.

The next day comes as a slap in the face. First of all, I am rudely mocked by the boys for my hair color. Can't they just deal with the fact that my hair isn't the normal brown or blond? Second of all, I am confused with almost every subject because I came so late in the year. Do I know my times tables yet? No, of course not because my memory is so horrible. Third of all, and this is the worst, I am headed to lunch and decide to be friendly with some boys that are in my class. I walk up to their little group, and try to make some small talk, but no one even acknowledges my presence. After a while of failed attempts, a boy from the group speaks up, "Can't you see no one cares what you're saying right now?" I am taken aback. I lower my head and slowly walk away. I can hear the mocking laughs of the boys behind me. The window of opportunity disappears right before my eyes.

The only way I can find happiness nowadays is through my only friend Matt, and even now he's acting weird. Usually, we liked to sit at our secluded lunch table and talk our cares away, but today was different. He sits up straight, and is looking around for something I cannot identify. I ask, "Hey, What 'cha lookin' for Matty?" We've been friends for about a month now, and I know that he never lies, or keeps secrets. "Uuuhhh… just looking for some people... " He distantly says as he abruptly gets up to scurry to another table. I can see him talking, almost pleading, to another person at a different table. He walks back over with a sad, angry, and rejected look on his face. "Hey Matt, what the matter?" I ask in full seriousness. He says something quietly that I can't quite hear. "What was that?" I ask. His eyes get bright with anger, and he blurts. "Maybe we should never have become friends in the first place, because now everyone else has forgotten about me!" With that he grabs his things, and walks away. I am left by myself, feeling abandoned someone I thought liked me for what I was. Yet again, another window of opportunity is shut, and I am left with nothing but the voices in my head to keep me company.

You know that time in your life when you really don't know what's going on, but you follow along? That's how I was after that encounter with Matt. It felt as if I were only floating along the days, and no one seemed to notice me slowly fading into the background. My grandfather noticed too; he would always say I used to be such a vibrant personality, but now I seemed drained. I was just floating, you see, I was just another character in this big play of life.

One early spring morning, the air seemed to glisten with melting coldness, signalling the end of winter. I was walking to school by then, and as I walked I drank up the cool air. I saw a distant shadow in the corner of my eye, tempting me to look. I pretend it doesn't exist for a while, until it's right behind me. I whirl around,"WHAT… do you want?" I suddenly get hit with a load of emotions. I see Matthew standing there, with a surprised expression. " I-I-I w-was hoping I could walk with you to school?" He asked tentatively. I gestured for him to walk alongside me because at that moment, I really needed to be with someone. I knew all the things he said to me, but at that moment I realized that he has been my only true friend in this whole year. I quiet the voices in my head, and finally think, _we have a lot to talk about._


End file.
